Forever or For-now

Years ago before women had equal rights to men, divorce was very uncommon. As women gained their independence the men were no longer in ultimate control. Women who were unhappy with their marriages were getting out. Divorce became very common during that time and still is today.

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Almost half of marriages in America end in divorce. The highest rate of divorce involves couples ranging from age 20-24. The lowest rate of divorce is shown in couples that are a little older, such as ranging from age 35-39. In America, people often get married more than once. The percentage of divorce in second of third marriages is higher than that of first marriages. In first marriages 50% of couples get divorced, second marriages 67%, and third marriages 74%. Divorce is a very common thing as is second or third marriages. This results in higher divorce rates.
There are many reasons and issues that lead to divorce. Something as simple as loss of feelings toward each other or deciding their not ready to be committed to someone can cause the divorce papers to be served. A spouse committing adultery, becoming someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol, or causing harm to their spouse or children are some more complex reasons to file for a divorce.

Being in a marriage in which the person has no feelings or bad feelings toward their spouse is very unhealthy. My friend’s parents were together for much longer than they should have been. They despised each other, living under the same roof but never interacting with each other. They tried to stay together just to stay in their daughter’s life.

Finally my friend stepped up to the plate and told them that they needed a divorce to be happy again. She reassured her mom and her dad that she would stay close with them both. Sometimes divorce is better for both the adults and the children involved.

My friend went through quite a rough patch for a while; even though she knew her parents getting divorced was best for everyone involved. For a while it was a difficult adjustment to make. At the beginning of the end for her parents, my friend went through some personal issues.

For a period of time she made herself believe that their divorce was because of her and all her fault. Depression looked to be a long, lonely road, which would take her an immense amount of time to turn of off. Even teachers began to notice a negative change in her personality and attitude.

Eventually everything plateaued and became normal once again. This type of thing happens quite often in divorce especially when older children are involved. Divorce can be both a good and a bad situation; even when everything falls apart sooner or later it comes back together. Life becomes normal again.

A more complex divorce situation pertains to my family and I. This situation is very personal, especially for me. My mother and I were living with my mom’s husband at the time that is also my brother’s father. My mom and “daddy”, which is what I used to call this man, would fight a lot but were working on their marriage. One day my mom was at work so “daddy” was home taking care of my brother and I. Little did my mother know that something very serious would occur that day which brought about an immediate divorce.

I was two years old at the time. This man decided on that very day to rape his wife’s innocent little girl. A day later, my mother was changing my pants when I said a phrase that “daddy” had said to me during his horrific act. My mom was astounded and asked where I had heard that. I giggled and said “daddy”, not knowing any better. My mom called a lawyer that afternoon and told the lawyer, and later on her husband, that she was going to proceed in a divorce.

Although people may love and care for each other when they get married, people can change and so can situations. Some marriages are strong enough to last. Others can have uncontrollable circumstances caused by one spouse bringing their marriage to a quick ending. Marriage is a sacred part of a couple’s relationship. Vows are either made specifically for a spouse or sometimes, traditional vows exchanged. These vows are promises, commitments, and a major part of marriage. When vows are broken marriages tend to be broken. Marriages fall apart much more often these days considering the many temptations in life. Marriage is supposed to be “forever” but in today’s society it’s more like “for-now”.

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