July. 30. 2014
Sadness is engulfing. It sucks you into its vortex of despair and loneliness. Sometimes when you look out a window and watch as the rain comes down, having races along your window, you think about what you don’t want to think about. How you wish you weren’t alone. How you want something more. Maybe you think about the day you went to see your dad, but he didn’t look like your dad. Or that one time where you went to look for your dog. And you found her. Lying broken in the street.
Sadness, pity, sorrow. They all swallow us. Its like when you drop food coloring into a glass of water, and watch as the coloring slowly changes the water. Agonizingly slowly. And you wonder. Does it hurt? The water being changed? Or is it painless? Maybe the water welcomes it. Not from a scientific point of view, but of an emotional one.
Reading The Fault In Our Stars, has changed my opinion slightly on sadness. But I guess in reality that’s all anything is. An opinion. A statement. A thought. how do we really know what is what? That up isn’t actually down? That is what saddens me. Not that we might be wrong with our answers, but that it seems like we can’t look for new ones. Maybe, for now, the answers we have found are all we are capable of as of this moment.
August. 12. 2014
When I think of Sadness, I see a black hurricane. And yet within a hurricane is the eye of the storm. We need to look for that eye, and attempt to keep ourselves there until the storms blows over. Key word ATTEMPT. As a hurricane moves around so does its eye. You have to fight to keep your bliss, your peace, your sanctuary. Because if you can’t fight for what you want, how are you going to fight for what you need? People often try to distract themselves from their dilemmas by doing projects, chores, focusing more on their school, taking care of their family. the important stuff. But they forget that in order to rid themselves of the sadness that they are so desperately trying to escape they have to accept what is, was, has, or is going to happen. Because once your mind is clear of all the what ifs, you can see what you have to do clearly.
Sadness is temporary, is might feel like it. ok lets be honest it never feels like it. you convince yourself you’re okay, you’re okay. and then BAM. you’re not okay. But as time goes on, you learn to remember that it is temporary. That the earth doesn’t stop spinning, even though you think it should. You learn to follow time as it goes on. And in return it heals you.
I believe that the reason I wrote this piece was because I found inspiration. Where I have no idea, but I don’t really think that the where really matters all that much. Just that the Inspiration was found.
~ Sometimes the greatest things in life are the hardest to fight for.